Is it something we’ve done?

I’ve had this post in my drafts for such a long time and I’ve really struggled with finishing it and actually posting it. But here we go.

There is no denying my daughter is mine, people tell me constantly how much she looks like me. I often wonder though, how much of her character is from me?

Do we pass most of our characteristics onto our children? I see so much of myself in Little Knight which is really special, most of the time.

If you know my little girl you will be very aware of how she finds big groups and new people difficult. It’s hard to see her get so upset over something that is difficult to control. She needs lots of close contact and reassurance from me or her dad to help her calm down. Its hard to see her so upset but I’m exactly the same so I can empathise.

I do find it really difficult though when other people just don’t understand. Some people have been openly offended that she’s cried at them, sometimes they try and get in her face and talk to her which even though they mean well just makes her worse. I’ve heard comments made about her being clingy because she is always with me as I don’t work or that she’s ‘just being silly’.


So, is this just part of who she is, (which is completely ok, she’s not a cookie cutter child) or has she picked up on my anxieties?

All anybody wants is to feel like they’re doing the right thing for their children and giving them the best start in life.

My husband and I firmly believe in the ‘trust your instincts’ approach to parenting. We often talk about how shocked we were when the midwife discharged us from hospital and just let us into the big, wide world with this baby.

But it turns out nobody does a degree in parenting and we’re all just making it up as we go along. But we’re doing our best!

I think Little Knight is just perfect and her personality is developing every day. She is hilarious and so thoughtful and yes, she doesn’t like strangers but that’s not always a bad thing anyway.

Do you see a lot of your own character in your children? Have you ever had to deal with negativity from others?

Thanks for reading,

Knight Mummy x

The Guilt.

Is it just me who thinks that having a child seems to unlock a guilt section in your brain? I’m sure it’s just the weight of the responsibility that comes with offspring (although I try not to think about that too much, most of the time I feel like I’m just playing house), but it’s really hard isn’t it?

Little Knight had her first big accident the other week. She was playing in the park and tripped over her welly boot. Her face took the whole impact and I felt like I was going to vomit with guilt. My logical brain tells me that I couldn’t have done anything to stop her falling, it was just one of those things, but that does not stop The Guilt. I panicked and didn’t know what to do. I’m a mother now! I should know how to handle things like this! My husband was there so I was needlessly shouting at him too, which obviously made everything even more stressful.

The damage.

She on the other hand cried for about 10 minutes then forgot all about it. But every time I looked at her that day I felt sad and guilty. My poor baby’s beautiful face!

So, why is it that even though you know you shouldn’t feel guilty, you do? Children have accidents all the time, everybody knows that, but it didn’t comfort me.

I find The Guilt creeps in in ridiculous ways. If I feed Little Knight something quick and easy I feel guilty that she’s not having the best food. If I spend time in the kitchen cooking I feel guilty for not spending that time with her. Mr Knight and I have started the second baby chat but I feel guilty that Little Knight would have to share us. I also feel guilty that she is on her own with no siblings.

There are so many examples of this and I know I’m not alone. I have friends who feel guilty about going back to work and I have friends who feel guilty about staying at home. I have often looked forward to a night out for weeks, I start getting ready and I feel guilty for leaving her.

The pressure to be the best parent you can be is so huge that it’s difficult to accept we will all fall a bit short from time to time, we’re human! I suppose it’s a good thing in a way and shows how much we care but it really doesn’t feel very nice. I find it comforting to know I’m not alone in this however. We are all doing our best and unfortunately, it seems like we need to accept that The Guilt is just part of this crazy parenting lark.

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Just doing our best: Little Knight at 5 weeks old.

Please confirm that I am not alone in this and share your thoughts and experiences with others, we are all in this together!

Thanks for reading,

Knight Mummy x

 A little baby shower

My baby sister is due to have her own baby in a few weeks and I could BURST with excitement! Now that she’s finished work my mother and I decided to spoil her with an afternoon of cake and presents. Pregnancy perks!

The invitations

We hired the upstairs in a lovely little coffee shop that my mum and I are becoming regulars in. It’s decorated beautifully so we didn’t need to do much, we just added some bunting, hanging decorations and a balloon cluster. We went with a yellow and grey theme as she hasn’t found out the gender. (This just adds to the excitement!)

I put a Baby Prediction card in everyone’s space where each guest could guess the gender, size, date and time of birth and leave a little message for my sister. This really helped to break the ice and got everyone talking which created a lovely atmosphere. It was also really nice to read everyone’s predictions afterwards and there was a combination of funny and sweet messages.

That bump ❤

We all had some lunch and drinks then she opened her presents. This took ages as she had LOADS but everyone enjoyed seeing what she had. The chorus of ‘awwwwww’s was deafening!

My sister then cut her cake and it got shared around. This all took 2 hours! It was the perfect length as my sister was getting really tired by the end and she had still managed to talk to everybody. I didn’t bother with the traditional games as they aren’t really her thing and we had a real mix of ages. I was worried it would be strange without playing games but they weren’t missed and the afternoon flowed really well.

 I love baby showers! I had one before I had Little Knight and I think they are such a special way of celebrating being pregnant and being spoilt before the baby arrives.

Thanks for reading,

Knight Mummy x

Breastfeeding, so far.

I’ve been quite reluctant to write about breastfeeding in fear of unintentionally offending or upsetting someone. But it’s such a big part of my life now that I feel it’s ridiculous to keep shying away from it. It’s National Breastfeeding Week so that seemed as good a time as any to chat about our breastfeeding story so far.

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We were really fortunate that Baby Knight took to breastfeeding straight away. I was really worried about it as we missed out on skin-to-skin due to her spending time in neonatal but she latched perfectly. HUGE RELIEF! I was convinced we’d got it and would have zero issues from then on. Bless me! Whilst I was still in hospital, Baby Knight refused to feed for HOURS. A few midwives tried to help but in the end the breastfeeding consultant visited us and helped me express colostrum on a tiny spoon. Once she’d got a taste for it we were back in action the same day. The hospital staff were brilliant so make sure you ask for help and support if you need it and don’t leave until you’re happy.

So we went home and settled into life with Baby Knight feeding every 40 minutes in the early days. Seriously. That kid can eat! (Just like her mother) So it’s no wonder really that I then had to deal with the horror of cracking and bleeding. My health visitor was really helpful and with a combination of lanolin cream, silicone shields and the fact that I am stubborn as hell we made it through. But I don’t want to make light of those early weeks as it was really difficult and I know a lot of women struggle at the start. I would dread having to feed her, my heart would sink when she would cry as I knew it would hurt. At times I would bite on a rolled up muslin to cope with each feed. Then I would be left feeling like the worst mother ever as I didn’t want to feed my own baby.

It was difficult but I had a lot of support, I knew I could move onto formula at any time but I just knew I could battle through this. The best advice I had was someone telling me it would get better and to just persevere. Now, please don’t come after me with pitchforks! I know that it is not the case for so many women and this is not a post bashing mothers who use formula straight away or only breastfeed for a short amount of time. I honestly believe in doing what is best for your own family and I was really nervous about putting this up for this reason. This is just my personal experience.

All mothers are amazing and should be confident in the choices they make for their family.

For me, it did get better. Not over night but gradually the pain decreased and now it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Baby Knight is 11 months old and we’re still going strong and I have no intention of stopping any time soon.

Multi-tasking

Multi-tasking

I’ve always used a breastfeeding cover when out and about which I would really recommend. For me, it was perfect in the early days as I could sort myself out and get her latched on without feeling like I had to rush to cover myself up. I never felt uncomfortable breastfeeding in public and I’ve even had people compliment on how pretty the covers are. I have a lot to cover up too so they help me to feel confident that I can feed her wherever I am, regardless of who is around. Now she is older they stop her from being distracted by what’s going on around her and allow her to concentrate on feeding.

I also use an app to time her feeds. This was useful in the early days as midwives/health visitors would often ask about her feeds and I was able to tell them roughly how many she had in a day and through the night, how long she was feeding for and the time inbetween her feeds. I also found it useful to know which side she was due to feed on next, when you’re sleep deprived it can be so difficult to remember! I still use the app just because I’m one of those mothers who likes a record of her feeds. Obviously I don’t know how much she is having so I like that I can see a rough guide on how she’s getting on.

So! To conclude, if you are struggling, PLEASE ask for help. I’m super lucky as one of my good friends is a breastfeeding buddy so if I ever have any questions she helps me out. You can find support from your midwife, your health visitor, find your local breastfeeding support group, use one of the many breastfeeding helplines, chat to other breastfeeding mothers. Nowadays there is so much help available that if you do choose to breastfeed, you don’t have to struggle on your own.

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It is one of the most natural things in the world but it doesn’t always feel like it. It’s so hard sometimes! So pat yourself on the back, regardless of how long you breastfeed for, and be proud of yourself!

Thanks for reading,

Knight Mummy x

Baby banana toast

Weaning Baby Knight has not been an easy journey for us and we’re still not really through it. Long story short, she projectile vomits everything that is slightly textured. We are still in the process of trying medications and seeing different health professionals to try to get her sorted. It’s just a very slow and often frustrating process.

So! I’m constantly trying to find different foods of varying tastes and textures for her to try. Most days she has weetabix with full fat milk for breakfast as I can gradually make it lumpier as she gets better with her eating. Some days though she just doesn’t want to know, and who wants the same thing everyday really?

This is a super quick and easy breakfast that encourages her to enjoy finger foods but still quite mushy so she doesn’t choke on it. I love looking for different baby recipes so thought I’d share!

bbay toast
All you need is:

  • A ripe banana
  • About 50ml of the baby’s usual milk
  • Bread
  • A sprinkle of cinnamon

I just mash up the banana in a bowl then add the milk and cinnamon. I then cut the bread into strips, dip it in and then fry lightly until golden brown.


That’s it! Takes about 10 minutes and uses things you normally have in the house anyway.

Thanks for reading,

Knight Mummy x

Shower troubles

I’m starting to realise just how difficult simple tasks become when you have a baby on the move. Last week I had a girly night out planned with good food, cocktails and minimum baby talk. I hadn’t washed my hair for a time longer than I’m willing to share so this was number one priority for the morning. I thought I’d quickly jump in the shower whilst Baby Knight played in her room, which I can see from the bathroom anyway. Not a problem. Pah! I am a fool.

Look at that cheeky face, I should’ve known better!

It started out how I imagined, I set her up a little toy area and she played angelically with Peppa Pig books. Then the shower curtain fell on me and the noise made her cry. So I comforted her then begrudgingly got in the shower, knowing I would soak the whole room and have that to clean up later. Baby Knight picked that moment to decide she was bored and wanted to play with Mummy. Great timing, sweetheart. She got upset when every time she got close she was sprayed with water, not that it stopped her. She then clocked a plug-in that looked appealing and decided it must be hers. Cue a soapy Mummy literally throwing her bath toys to her in an attempt to distract her.

Finally I was clean (forget exfoliating scrubs and hair masks, those days are gone). I took her in my room with different toys so I could get sorted, I managed to get a brush through my hair before she had had enough.

We plodded downstairs to Cbeebies so that I could quickly throw some clothes on. I then realised she was soaked from trying to join me in the shower. Now, getting Baby Knight dressed these days is always a workout  as she is just everywhere and is super slippery too thanks to her eczema cream. She was eventually ready for the day then she sat up, was sick down her clothes then burst out laughing.

I aborted this mission and went to my Mum’s to get ready.

Thanks for reading,

Knight Mummy x

A week away!

Firstly, I’m sorry for being a complete blogging fail over the last few weeks. Those naughty teeth have been erupting again and upsetting my poor girl!

A few weeks ago we went on a lovely family holiday to Devon with my parents, my pregnant sister and her fiancé and his best friend and parents. Baby Knight absolutely loved having so many people around all the time which meant we did too. It felt like such a luxury to be able to take my time in the shower and to read a magazine with a hot cup of tea! Bliss! We were very lucky with the weather too, Britain isn’t notorious for its glorious bank holidays but we managed to catch one. Not one rainy day all week. That’ll do, pig.

We set off at 7am on the Saturday as we anticipated a lot of service station breaks (we were right) and arrived at about midday. Baby Knight coped really well with the travelling and settled in quickly. The rest of the day was spent unpacking and putting up Easter decorations. (My previous post shows everything I’d bought.)

The next day was Easter Sunday. We are Christians so it is such a celebratory time for us. We have friends who live in Devon and they kindly invited us to their church for the morning service which was so joyous! Afterwards we spent the day enjoying a three course meal with the family and then my dad organised Baby Knight’s first Easter Egg Hunt. My sister and I even managed to squeeze in a spot of baking, something I don’t really get the chance to do anymore.

Most of the Devon crew

Most of the Devon crew

Some of our treats

Some of our treats

We also took Baby Knight to her first zoo which was such a sweet day! I was a little concerned that she’d be too young and it’d be a complete waste of money but she was adorable! Her favourites seemed to be the giraffes, tigers and elephants, I couldn’t believe that she was watching them with such excitement.

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Elephant spotting with Daddy

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Taking it all in!

The rest of the week was spent relaxing and visiting cute little towns. It was a real treat to spend so much time altogether, I’m always conscious that Mr Knight misses out a bit being at work. However, he definitely chose the best week to have off, we felt like we came home with a different baby! I don’t know if she’d been waiting for a decent audience or if it was the magic of the sea air but in the space of a few days she learnt to say ‘nana’ and ‘dada’ (don’t worry, she’s had ‘mama’ down for weeks!) she learnt to clap and most momentously… SHE LEARNT TO CRAWL! My baby is on the move! This is both thrilling and terrifying in equal measures. It is such a joy to see her explore her environment on her own and watching her learn. She is also ecstatic about this new trick and has developed a new super cheesy smile to prove it.20150406_182113

Devon is such a beautiful place and we’ve all decided we’re returning next year. My niece or nephew will be with us next time and Baby Knight will be 2 so it’ll be a whole new experience but something to look forward to. I was a bit sad to come home and get back to normal but we’ve been too busy baby proofing our house to really have time to think about it!

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Thanks for reading,

Knight Mummy x