Just the words ‘pregnancy’ and ‘labour’ make me feel a little bit sick. I still get a little envious when women glow throughout their pregnancies and have a labour that mirrors their birth plan. It took a good few months to feel ok with how my daughter came into the world which I hear is natural when things don’t go to plan. However, that is skipping to the end of the story…
Mr Knight and I decided the time was right to turn our worlds upside down around April 2013 and we were very blessed to take that positive pregnancy test in the following November.
Pregnancy just did not suit me. I was sick at least once a day from about 6 weeks in so instead of that classic pregnancy glow my skin looked grey. I also suffered vile heartburn and had a brief spell of sciatica. Despite feeling like I was dying, my little baby was thriving and that made it all beyond worth it! We didn’t find out the gender which just added to our excitement. My birth plan consisted of a water birth with flexibility regarding pain relief, I wanted skin to skin as soon as it was born and Sam wanted to cut the cord. I worked up until 37 weeks and my mum and sister planned a beautiful baby shower for just afterwards. And then the waiting game started…
Finally, 6 days after my due date I was woken at 6am by my waters breaking. I rang the hospital and then off we went to get checked out. After confirming my waters had gone and doing some business down there, the midwife told us that our baby was back to back and I should spend as much time as possible on all fours to get it to move. We were then sent home to wait for labour to start. We stopped off at Gregg’s bakery on the way back to grab some breakfast and I had my first contraction – I was so excited! (Clearly did not know what was in store.) We then spent the whole day on the birthing ball and timing contractions until about 11:30pm when I couldn’t handle it anymore and forced Mr Knight to TELL the hospital I NEEDED to come in.
We got to the hospital to find out I was just 2-3cm. I could’ve punched that poor midwife in the face. We plodded off to our room where I spent the next few hours bouncing on the birthing ball and getting high as a kite on Entonox (gas and air to us normal folk). True to form I was constantly being sick so had an injection so I could keep some water down. This is where it gets a little hazy for me. At some point I had Pethidine which did nothing and then eventually gave in and had an Epidural. I know everyone is different but looking back it was definitely the best decision for me. I even managed an hours sleep!
By 7am I was 10cm and ready to push. Here we go, time to meet our baby! Except after two hours of pushing nothing had happened. I remember so clearly the midwife saying “ok, we’ll just get the doctor to pop in and see you.” That’s when I knew it had all gone wrong and whatever the doctor was about to say would be bad news. Sure enough, baby was stuck and I was then rushed to theatre for an emergency caesarean. I was a complete mess and to make it worse my spinal block would only work on the one side of my body. I then had about four members of staff spraying me with cold stuff to see where I had feeling and asking me what felt colder. I was told that they would tilt my bed and if that didn’t work I would have to be put to sleep. All this with Mr Knight waiting outside not having a clue what was happening. Thankfully it all worked and a few moments later he was by my side as I was sliced open and our baby was pulled out.
IT’S A GIRL!
At 11:15am Baby Knight was born weighing 8lb 8oz. However we couldn’t bask in joy for very long as before I could see her she was whisked away with breathing problems. As I was being sewn up and sorted out my baby was in the neonatal unit. Thankfully, she only needed to spend a few hours in there but being wheeled into our shared room where every woman was cuddling their newborn was tough. Finally she got bought into us and we just stared at her in complete awe. I actually asked the midwife if I was allowed to pick her up! I was able to leave hospital at 4:30pm the following day which was a huge relief as I hated not having my husband with me when I needed him the most, that and I was sharing a room with a serious snorer. Once at home we had our families to visit and felt like we were in a little bubble of love. It took about 5 weeks before I was feeling back to myself and not in pain but to be honest the first few weeks are all a bit of a blur anyway!
So not one part of my birth plan was honoured and I definitely felt a bit of a failure for a) having an epidural and b) having a caesarean. However, 7 months down the line I look at our birth story very differently, all that really matters is our baby came out safely and is healthy. The rest is just the details.
Thanks for reading!
Knight Mummy x